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| Jouchi Fumito | |
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Jouchi Fumito
Posts : 13 Points : 17 Join date : 2011-02-15
| Subject: Jouchi Fumito Tue 15 Feb 2011, 3:31 pm | |
| Naito Aburame's 3rd character. Shion is the 2nd.
~General Information~
Name: Jouchi Fumito
Nickname/Alias:
Weight: 100
Height: 60
Age: 12
Gender: Female
Appearance: Jouchi got big sized eyes which are brown accompanied with thick black eyebrows. Her nose is medium sized and got a soft shape. The hair is long, reaches down to the waists. It's well combed, black and straight. She is skinny and athletic, well trained for martial arts.
Clothing: The pants are long and tight and are of colour black. Bandages are wrapped around the knee area to keep her equipment bag at that location. She wears a kimono and loincloth beneath, making her outfit be the same as for samurais. The kimono's appeareance is brown and looks poor, meaning no extra decorations. On her feet she wears sandals. Forehead protector on her forehead. She wears also bandages on her arms and hands as a protective layer in martial art training and combats.
Personality: She is proud and arrogant. Her goal is to become the Mizukage and be the leader of everyone. She has a strong eager to have contol over things and to predict the future. Jouchi is calm and calculated but sometimes slow thinker. However, she often claims the leadership and has big self-confidence and doesn't hesitate to say what she thinks. She often likes to see herself as the leader and hence dislikes when she has to talk to higher ranked people. Jouchi feels inferior in battle skills, even when she acts though. She, hence, rather sends out someone else first and remains herself in the back row. Jouchi is looking for a man to build a family with but it must be of good genes, to have a higher chance of getting overpowered ninjas to kids. Her hobbies are studieng various martial art. When her father's name comes up, she tend to become quiet and feeling ashamed. She also got a bad habbit of taking things granted.
~Clan Information~
Clan Name: -
Kekkei Genkai: Genjutsu drool
Clan Symbol: -
Clan History: -
Ability Summary: A bloodline ability to create a mass of slime which consist a lot of Genjutsu elemental but mostly of water elemental. This mass is created quickly inside the mouth and is used by spitting on the enemies. By spitting it on the enemy, the enemy will be thrown into a genjutsu.
The slime is loaded with chakra which is enough for the slime to be an active genjutsu source for 30 seconds. The requirment for it to work is to effect the sense of touch and normally needs to be on the skin of the adversy. It pumps the caster's chakra into the adversy to cause him/her to go into a genjutsu. It pulses chakra into the target continously as long as it lasts and may lead to be a struggle to cancel the effects of genjutsu. For an example a genjutsu release technique removes the current enemy chakra but doesn't give resistance to the chakra which keeps pumping in. By removing the slime alone doesn't cancel the genjutsu as it has already corrupted the chakra in the target's brain and needs to be dealt with separatly.
The slime which is based on water element is naturally strong against fire and weak against earth. It has an attribute to be sticky and avoids it to run off of its own but doesn't refuse to come off with a good wipe.
The ultimate techniques of the kkg will overstrain the mouth and cause temporary paralysis which will cause among other things: Loss of capability to speak, taste, eat, cast oral techniques etc. Continues overuse of these techniques will end up with permament damage.
~Rank/Village Information~
Classification: Genin
Letter Rank: C
Village: Hidden village of Mist
~Skill Information~
Skill Specialty: Taijutsu
Elemental Affinity: Water
Special Characteristics: Skilled at enhancing her hearing. Great analytic ability. Enough chakra control and intelligence to be a genjutsu user.
~Jutsu~
Name: Bunshin no Jutsu Rank: E Element N/A Description: This technique must be mastered by any ninja who has graduated from the shinobi academy. It's the most basic technique a Genin must know, since it can be a real lifesaver. This ninjutsu creates a simple illusion clone identical to the caster. The clone however has no physical properties and will disperse the moment it is touched.
Name: Henge no Jutsu Rank: E Element N/A Description: Description: Henge is the basic skill a ninja must know to become a Genin. It's mostly used as a decoy, to confuse the opponent by transforming into somebody that's an ally with the enemy, and then attack from the back when he's not expecting it. This technique can easily be combined with other jutsu for a more powerful effect, such as with Kage Bunshin no Jutsu [Shadow Clone Technique].
Name: Kawarimi no Jutsu Rank: E Element N/A Description: Kawarimi is a widely used and very famous skill among shinobi. The user taps into their chakra and exchanges places with an object of similar weight and size. This is clearly an evasion technique used to dodge attacks; however it can be linked with other jutsu or attacks to create massive damage if done properly.
Name: Nawanuke no Jutsu Rank:E Element N/A Description: This jutsu gives you the ability to easily free yourself from a rope or any other object made from something similar to a rope. This Jutsu works merely by inserting chakra into the rope, and requires no hand seals.
name: Body Flicker Technique rank: D element: ninjutsu description: Enhances the reflexes to move away quickly from danger.
name: Water walking rank: D element: ninjutsu description: Allows to walk on the surface of the water
name: Tree climbing rank: D element: ninjutsu description: Allows to walk on walls and ceilings
Name: Body Float Rank: C Element: Taijutsu Description: Making her body float in the air for a couple of seconds. The procedure is advanced and hard. It works with quick and small arm and leg movements with accompanied with good chakra control. With those you make your line of path, during a jump, to curve upwards. Making it seem as you are ignoring gravity and floating in the air. This move can also be used if jumping straight upwards. Which allows the body to float in the air for 2 seconds.
Name: Body Activation Rank: C Element: Taijutsu Description: Utilizing the chakra in the body to increase the speed of the user's movements. 20% enhanced. Duration 5 posts and cooldown 6 from the moment it was previously activated or 1 from the moment it end.
Name: Leg Crush Technique Rank: C Element: Taijutsu Description: Requirement to this technique is to grab a hold of the opponent's leg. Then the user stomps at the knee area of the binded leg and brings down the whole opponent's leg to the ground and keeps bending it, to cause pain to the victim. The technique brings chakra enhanced power and which could lead to potentially damaging the victim's knee.
Name: Invisible Kick Rank: C Element: Taijutsu Description: The user bents down to dodge any possible fist attacks. After that the user quickly is flanking the opponent and then throws a spinning heel kick back of the victim's head. Making the kick seem invisible, as the offensive foot hits behind the head. The move is enforced with chakra to increase speed and power.
Name: First Finisher of Mist Rank: C Element: Taijutsu Description: The user requires to be in the air, above the target. The user then loads power to his arms and falls toward the target and slamming with her fists or weapons at the target.
Name: Second Finisher of Mist Rank: C Element: Taijutsu Description: The user requires to be in the air, above the target. The user then dives toward the target and loads power to his/her leg and at the last second, turns around to make a volt and throws his leg toward the target's head, performing an enhanced axe kick.
Name: Third Finisher of Mist Rank: C Element: Taijutsu Description: The user grabs the opponents head and he drops ahead making the victim fall with his head to the ground. A technique which increases the strenght of the user during the taijutsu, to perform it more violantly.
~History/RP Sample~
History/Background Story: Birth arc Jouchi grew up in Mist without any parents. When Jouchi was 3 years old, her mother died and her father became a missing ninja because of it. Father were often gone, at a run, since he was hunted. He came back once and a while during dark to visit Jouchi. She was one of the few things which mattered to him anymore. The father's name was Fumito and he often had small presents with him, in an attempt to buy Jouchi's love. Jouchi didn't mind, she just enjoyed all the exotic things. It was also like this, he was her father and she loved him because of it. Some nights, he introduced her some fighting skills, learned some ninja techniques to her. It was mostly about taijutsu and he watched proudly at her when she was doing repeating movements in front of the mirrow. Shortly after, when Jouchi reached age of 5, heard about her father that had died at the hidden Leaf village on a kidnap attempt. Jouchi was now all alone, no family left. Academy arc At academy, she was bright and made alright grades. Often finished by top 5. Jouchi dreamed of becomming a legendary hero to protect and to save the citizen of the village from evil. To get the gratitude from the elderly and kids asking for autographs. She was determined to always stay on the good side. Jouchi once saw a kid getting bullied, and she remembered her ideals and went forth to protect the exposed boy. The bulliers were bigger, as unfortunatelly they always are (imagen if they would be small for once), and there only way of discussing things were with fists. They couldn't hit a girl, as it would be degrading, so they had no choice but to turn their backs and leave. Until that day, she has been a protector of exposed kids at the schoolyard.
Roleplay Sample: "Done, can we go home now? We have been with you and working for 2 hours now!? My men are to the limit of making a revolt!" The bug leader looks at Naito who doesn't even react with sound nor movement. Naito looks to have fallen asleep. The technique is, indeed, known to take a lot of mental strenght. "Sir!? Naito-sama!?" "Ye-ye, you can go now. Pff..." Naito suddenly snatches at the elder. "Like if it was the end of the world." He looks down at his hands and feels pleased. "It was so worth it!"
Last edited by Jouchi Fumito on Mon 27 Feb 2012, 8:24 am; edited 18 times in total | |
| | | NX Admin Administrator
Posts : 1131 Points : 1017 Join date : 2008-03-26 Location : Moderating the forum
Shinobi Info Ninja Rank: X Rank Village: N/A
| Subject: Re: Jouchi Fumito Wed 23 Feb 2011, 1:10 am | |
| A lot more description is needed in both appearance and clothing, add a little more to your character's personality as well.
More information on your KKG is needed as I want to know more on what is does and how it works.
Reduce the enchancement from 30% to around 10-20% (15% is recommended in case another staff disagrees).
Oh, and by the way, your personality says "Kazekage" but you are planning to join Iwakagure? | |
| | | Jouchi Fumito
Posts : 13 Points : 17 Join date : 2011-02-15
| Subject: Re: Jouchi Fumito Wed 23 Feb 2011, 7:39 am | |
| 1)Are there any particular stuff you are missing from those, which I have forgotten to mention? Otherwise comparing to the quantity of text to the 3 latest approved characters, they seem equal.
2)fixed
3)fixed
4)fixed | |
| | | Revy Izumi Missing-Nin
Posts : 1364 Points : 1849 Join date : 2009-07-27
Shinobi Info Ninja Rank: X Rank Village: N/A
| Subject: Re: Jouchi Fumito Wed 23 Feb 2011, 2:51 pm | |
| Name: Body Float Rank: C Element: Taijutsu Description: Making her body float in the air for a couple of seconds.
Makes no sense at all, that would require some kind of wind chakra, or the ability to make yourself lighter
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Name: Body Activation Rank: C Element: Taijutsu Description: Utilizing the chakra in the body to increase the speed of the user's movements. 20% enhanced.
Put a limit on how long that lasts. A whole 20% speed increase for a jutsu that low rank can be stamina draining, so i don't expect it to last very long.
Or, better yet, put more detail into it. Add different ranks for it. I'd prefer not to see this jutsu abused when your like Jounin or Kage rank, with your speed already very high. THen popping this over and over, with your already fast speed due to being a high rank as well as having taijutsu, because it's only a C rank jutsu.
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| | | Jouchi Fumito
Posts : 13 Points : 17 Join date : 2011-02-15
| Subject: Re: Jouchi Fumito Wed 23 Feb 2011, 3:38 pm | |
| - Revy Izumi wrote:
- Name: Body Float
Rank: C Element: Taijutsu Description: Making her body float in the air for a couple of seconds.
Makes no sense at all, that would require some kind of wind chakra, or the ability to make yourself lighter
__
Name: Body Activation Rank: C Element: Taijutsu Description: Utilizing the chakra in the body to increase the speed of the user's movements. 20% enhanced.
Put a limit on how long that lasts. A whole 20% speed increase for a jutsu that low rank can be stamina draining, so i don't expect it to last very long.
Or, better yet, put more detail into it. Add different ranks for it. I'd prefer not to see this jutsu abused when your like Jounin or Kage rank, with your speed already very high. THen popping this over and over, with your already fast speed due to being a high rank as well as having taijutsu, because it's only a C rank jutsu.
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1) Fixed
2) I don't know anything about speed guides and rules of this site. Search didn't find anything either. Could you, please, suggest a proper duration. | |
| | | Revy Izumi Missing-Nin
Posts : 1364 Points : 1849 Join date : 2009-07-27
Shinobi Info Ninja Rank: X Rank Village: N/A
| Subject: Re: Jouchi Fumito Wed 23 Feb 2011, 5:53 pm | |
| Simply put, ad different ranks, and how much each rank increases your speed by. Also add a cooldown on how long you can use it again, after just using it. And probably 5 posts would be fine | |
| | | Naito Aburame Missing-Nin
Posts : 1284 Points : -16 Join date : 2008-06-28 Location : Sweden
Shinobi Info Ninja Rank: Village:
| Subject: Re: Jouchi Fumito Wed 23 Feb 2011, 6:39 pm | |
| Mmh... weird rules. So what is the allowed duration for the jutsu? 1 post? I am guessing. I need longer duration.
((How could I make the mistake of posting with the wrong account?)) | |
| | | Revy Izumi Missing-Nin
Posts : 1364 Points : 1849 Join date : 2009-07-27
Shinobi Info Ninja Rank: X Rank Village: N/A
| Subject: Re: Jouchi Fumito Wed 23 Feb 2011, 9:43 pm | |
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| | | Jouchi Fumito
Posts : 13 Points : 17 Join date : 2011-02-15
| Subject: Re: Jouchi Fumito Thu 24 Feb 2011, 6:48 am | |
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| | | Jouchi Fumito
Posts : 13 Points : 17 Join date : 2011-02-15
| Subject: Re: Jouchi Fumito Fri 17 Feb 2012, 8:44 am | |
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| | | Nocturne Missing-Nin
Posts : 465 Points : 153 Join date : 2009-12-29 Age : 30
Shinobi Info Ninja Rank: A Rank Village: N/A
| Subject: Re: Jouchi Fumito Sat 25 Feb 2012, 3:26 pm | |
| - Take note you cannot use your KKG if genjutsu is not listed in your specialties. And your slime will need a drawback or two of its own.
Other than that, your app looks fine to me. | |
| | | Jouchi Fumito
Posts : 13 Points : 17 Join date : 2011-02-15
| Subject: Re: Jouchi Fumito Sun 26 Feb 2012, 9:56 am | |
| Thank you for checking my app. 1. If I remember correctly a genin can only have 1 talent and higher ranked ninjas can have multipe. I can leave the kkg awakening to later 2. On another site they led drawback question pass on my application if I wrote "cannot use without jutsus". They thought that was a drawback itself.
I think people have missunderstood the drawbacks of techniques from the story. It's not the kkg itselves which havs the drawbacks but the very powerful techniques. Rasenshuriken, Mangekyo Sharingan, 8th gate are few of many S ranked techniques. These are so powerful, they even hurt the caster. I think it's controversial to have drawbacks to a genin ninja who can't cast stronger jutsus than C ranked ones. | |
| | | Nocturne Missing-Nin
Posts : 465 Points : 153 Join date : 2009-12-29 Age : 30
Shinobi Info Ninja Rank: A Rank Village: N/A
| Subject: Re: Jouchi Fumito Sun 26 Feb 2012, 10:55 am | |
| This isn't a single reference to a genin, nor about rank. After all, you aren't to be a genin forever.
- Anyways, say if the slime somehow gets washed off their skin within those couple seconds. Does the genjutsu end or no? You have to explain.
- Genjutsu cannot be "powerful" at your level, this would mean the slime will have a ranking of its own. | |
| | | Jouchi Fumito
Posts : 13 Points : 17 Join date : 2011-02-15
| Subject: Re: Jouchi Fumito Mon 27 Feb 2012, 8:13 am | |
| 1. added drawbacks 2. added text about slime and genjutsu connection 3. Removed the word "powerful" | |
| | | Nocturne Missing-Nin
Posts : 465 Points : 153 Join date : 2009-12-29 Age : 30
Shinobi Info Ninja Rank: A Rank Village: N/A
| Subject: Re: Jouchi Fumito Mon 27 Feb 2012, 8:20 pm | |
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